Notes From the Past

 

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These are my notebooks, if the building was burning I’d go back for them, they are years of pouring heart out onto pages, ideas, reflections, sketches, poems and writing. I return to them regularly, it’s a beautiful act of time travel to go back into your head before you knew what you know now.

I love reading them they are raw and inspired, honest, sometimes uncomfortable but always great tools for reflection, and the purest memories of feelings, sensations and moments that needed to be written. I’ve only every thrown one away… into the fire, an act of spiritual exorcism at the time, the first part of a chronicle of a mad, passionate and unhealthy love affair that nearly took me out, I’ve got the second part, and often wish I could re-read the first. Not for the memories, I’ve got those to work with but for the words, the choice of the words is everything, the shape of them, the way they were thrown onto the page, exhaled or bleeding, the form they naturally took, line breaks, space the gaps between things happening.

I couldn’t sleep last night so I got these out looking for a specific poem that I wrote and used to perform at readings, I didn’t find it but got lost in another dream of things written when life was all sea walks, music and night fires. I wrote another one looking from here to there and knowing a lot more, a blank page was filled, a little more expressed, and I found one, a recent one about dreaming of rain and I breathed some space into it on the pages. It feels full of something, a notion that’ll come clear reading it back years later, and so I write my truths, and for that life is good today.

 

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© Carys Shannon, September 2020. 

2 thoughts on “Notes From the Past

  1. Well, here in La Carlota we haven’t had a case yet. But we are worried. Worried about Granny, who is not allowed to walk into our house although only a door separates us. Worried about Natalia, our daughter, who lives in London where measures haven’t been implemented yet and where she will keep working with very young children. Worried about our son and daughter in law in Cordoba. And yes, starting to move from worried to scared when we read that it is going to get worse and worse before it gets any better. Some relatives in Madrid, hospital workers, have already fallen down with it. Will we? Or will we be spared? But we trust God, and that gives us peace. We are standing in solid ground and even though every might tumble around us we can say “It is well with my soul”.
    Did Earth need humans to stay locked up for a while? Probably so. We made it sick and we might be reaping what we sowed. But this has made us unite and fight together as one. It’s made us more human, more aware and humbler.
    Stay safe, stay at home and love the ones around you, take care of each other and value the little things in life. Let’s learn a lesson from all of this.

    All my love,
    Tris

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    1. Sending you all lots of love and support. It’s so difficult at the moment and more so to be away from family and loved ones. It reminds us of how little we really control in life. Each day is a blessing at the moment, and each phone/video call/contact with our loved ones too. Stay safe xxx

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